Beautiful People dot com offers sympathy mementos to members who ate too much during the Holiday Season and had their membership revoked.

CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE AND MAKE REALLY FAT.

Beautiful people dot com recently banished 5,000 members whose poundage divided by roundage equalled pie r fat pants. However, In an act of sincere contrition and conciliation, Beautiful people dot com is allowing its remaining beautiful people members to reach out to the newly tubbied to reassure the former beautiful people that they haven't been forgotten.

Ads promoting gifts for the fallen fatties has taken off in a big way at Beautiful people dot com. Remaining beautiful people members can now send sympathy gifts to those who inhaled Santa's sack without checking it twice.

One of the most popular t-shirts beautiful people members have ordered for their recently fattened friends is the "Fatty Forever" t-shirts with an infinitely expandable front that transforms the shirt into a tank top with an emergency drop down bib flap tummy flab cover.

Cookie baskets are another favorite gift from the beautiful to the recently banished beautiful dough girls and boys. The bottom of these cookie baskets features a secret mirror that only comes into view when the final full sized cookie has been removed. Scrawled across the mirror is the cookie mobile hot line number with the motto, your next cookie basket delivered in thirty minutes or less.

Rumors that the hot line number actually sends out a twitter message of the cookie reorder to all remaining beautiful members could not be verified, yet. (will let you know when I get to the bottom)

Some formerly beautiful people have been cut off from their significant others who did not gain weight and are still members of beautiful people dot com. Fortunately, other beautiful people members have stepped in to save the day by by sending photos of themselves smooching with the beautiful people who were sadly left behind. The photos come with uplifting messages such as, "sucking down food, or sucking down face, what's the difference".

A beautiful people probationary chair is rumored to be on the way. For the newly fattened who are trying to scratch and claw their way back into beautiful people dot com, the beautiful people probationary chair is placed in front of the computer and has an electronic scale built into the seat with a direct feed to the beautiful people dot com website. Should the formerly beautiful person ever regain their lost pounds, they will be instantly messaged via shock therapy of their newly earned eligibility for re entry into the world of beautiful people dot com.

Please Download the Chase Bank Protest Flyer for FREE, and then all that needs to be done is just give a few copies out, it is really that simple.

Barack Obama to use ACORN volunteer soldiers in Afghanistan.

It appears that ACORN volunteers worked so well when it came to cheating in the 2008 democratic caucus contests that Barack Obama is considering using ACORN volunteer soldiers in Afghanistan.

ACORN's penchant for padding numbers when it comes to democratic caucus votes would give Barack Obama flexibility in padding his additional troop count. 1,000 ACORN volunteers could easily equal 30,000 additional troops based on ACORN accounting methods.

Since ACORN is demanding either the reinstatement of their already promised funds or the continuation of funding based on prior years, why not pay ACORN those suspended funds to go to Afghanistan? The sight of ACORN soldiers with petitions and clipboards in their hands instead of guns may put more fear into the taliban than anything else we've tried.

One possible downside to this idea could be that even if ACORN did find Osama Bin Laden, odds are high that they would not be able to reproduce his proper address correctly even if Osama were to provide it.

(Warning! The above editorial is satire and should not be confused for the truth).

Please Download the Chase Bank Protest Flyer for FREE, and then all that needs to be done is just give a few copies out, it is really that simple.

My Desperate Plea to all Bloggers, PLEASE do not do what this blogger did.

CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE

The above article is not a puma article. This is just advice in general for all bloggers. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, do not ask "where's the anger?", yet not allow any way for readers to leave a comment!  Most of you know already know this. I just find this type of title completely contradictory.

Thankfully, this writer at least left a contact email address. Asking "where is the anger" while not allowing people to respond, is pretty much a self fulfilling prophecy and an unintentionally preposterous supposition.

I wonder if the AP will ever allow comments in response to articles written by their own reporters. 

I probably should not have made the title so dramatic sounding as many people probably won't appreciate the frustration it brings out in me when I see a source that makes a plea but doesn't allow public interaction.

How come the Newspaper ended up on top of the only spot on the entire driveway that was wet?

Newspaper lands on top of only spot in the driveway with water, how did the newspaper person take such amazing aim, and do it in the dark?

Is this an immaculate conception of sorts?  Is what I believe to be water actually tears generated by the picture of the eye on the front page?

Should I have left the newspaper where it was and called the media to witness this miracle?

Even more amazing, when I came back later on to check on the large teardrop, the tear had vanished into thin air.

Rachel Maddow's very special Thanksgiving Message, I kid you not.

I am flabbergasted. MSNBC roasted Sarah Palin for being interviewed while Thanksgiving Turkeys were being killed in the background. Meanwhile, Rachel Maddow gave a blessing over the image of the dead turkey below!

Can somebody explain why the pseudo intellectal Maddow can give a Thanksgiving day blessing on prime time television over the image of a headless roasted turkey and actually believe that this is somehow more "acceptable" than what Sarah Palin did???

If the Turkey pictured above was the same turkey being "prepped" during Sarah Palin's interview, would someone explain to me how Palin's interview was "worse" than what Maddow did? I think they are the same thing, and therefore you either accept BOTH, or you condemn both. Maddow's words over the picture of the roasted, DEAD, Turkey... "It is the night before Thanksgiving and even now we have many blessings to count" - Rachel Maddow.