Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Beautiful People dot com offers sympathy mementos to members who ate too much during the Holiday Season and had their membership revoked.


Beautiful people dot com recently banished 5,000 members whose poundage divided by roundage equalled pie r fat pants. However, In an act of sincere contrition and conciliation, Beautiful people dot com is allowing its remaining beautiful people members to reach out to the newly tubbied to reassure the former beautiful people that they haven't been forgotten.

Ads promoting gifts for the fallen fatties has taken off in a big way at Beautiful people dot com. Remaining beautiful people members can now send sympathy gifts to those who inhaled Santa's sack without checking it twice.

One of the most popular t-shirts beautiful people members have ordered for their recently fattened friends is the "Fatty Forever" t-shirts with an infinitely expandable front that transforms the shirt into a tank top with an emergency drop down bib flap tummy flab cover.

Cookie baskets are another favorite gift from the beautiful to the recently banished beautiful dough girls and boys. The bottom of these cookie baskets features a secret mirror that only comes into view when the final full sized cookie has been removed. Scrawled across the mirror is the cookie mobile hot line number with the motto, your next cookie basket delivered in thirty minutes or less.

Rumors that the hot line number actually sends out a twitter message of the cookie reorder to all remaining beautiful members could not be verified, yet. (will let you know when I get to the bottom)

Some formerly beautiful people have been cut off from their significant others who did not gain weight and are still members of beautiful people dot com. Fortunately, other beautiful people members have stepped in to save the day by by sending photos of themselves smooching with the beautiful people who were sadly left behind. The photos come with uplifting messages such as, "sucking down food, or sucking down face, what's the difference".

A beautiful people probationary chair is rumored to be on the way. For the newly fattened who are trying to scratch and claw their way back into beautiful people dot com, the beautiful people probationary chair is placed in front of the computer and has an electronic scale built into the seat with a direct feed to the beautiful people dot com website. Should the formerly beautiful person ever regain their lost pounds, they will be instantly messaged via shock therapy of their newly earned eligibility for re entry into the world of beautiful people dot com.

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